C.R.A.P.

Unfortunately writing isn’t paying the bills. (Sigh). So here goes.

Have you noticed today’s kids with computerized and electric toys never seem to have enough? Impossible, yet true! Before “Thank-you” has even left their mouths they’ve already dropped that new toy to the floor to search out the next NEW and INTERESTING thing! Studies have shown that 9 out of 9.3 times these same kids will spend more time with the box it came in. These are kids with imagination! They will bring tears of laughter into your lives as long as they belong to other parents.

Well, look who is chuckling now – all the way to the bank! For a limited time only I am offering to those willing to throw caution to the wind a great opportunity. To also go to the bank! I am extremely serious – wipe that smile off of your face and put on your ears as I have a deal for you!

In viewing the attached photo, you, as an average person will note what appears at first glance to be my son taking part in some mischief. You are forgiven, silly! While most parents would view this situation as an opportunity for corrective action, I decided to open the door of opportunity and let it plop right in. I implore you to join me!

In this photo it would seems as though my son is simply unrolling toilet paper. BUT – to the highly trained eye there is more. Please note my son's concentration as he was performing this task. Extremely serious! He was so engrossed he did not realize I was there taking his picture! It sounds unbelievable but I have the picture to prove it. Right now you are thinking - I should never have been given a camera. But this is not the point. The point is that my son had a goal and he worked his way towards that goal until he finished it. I bet it took him AT LEAST eight minutes to unroll all the paper.

Do you KNOW the attention span limits of your typical hyperkinetic three-year-old?

Need I say more? Think of all the time and money you could quit flushing down the drain! Now that I have your full attention let me give you the especially good news - according to my fast fact checkers, to do this business we are already halfway there! IN FACT- there is toilet paper IN PLACE in every home, office, airport, bar, restaurant, and school. Just about any location that people can be found, public AND private, our supply chain is already in place.

But wait, there's more!

I am letting you all in on my secret - for practically pennies on the dollar you too can invest in my idea of "CRAP" (Caught Rolling All the Paper) a new toy for kids of all ages! The best part is that you can still use the paper once your kids are done playing with it; no waste! Tree-huggers the world over could not be happier. While we have experienced very minor technical problems with the re-rolling of the paper, I am confident with further testing and your generous donations we’ll get our thoughts on paper and have a sit-down. There's no problem we can't fix by throwing money at me!

Act now! I promise the returns on your investment will help me tremendously!